He told Hadani in a matter of fact, but serene way, that he was sure she had the forth and final stage of Ovarian Cancer and they needed to take some fluid from her abdomen to verify his diagnosis. I must say that
Hadani was all skin and bones with a huge belly. She looked, without exaggerating, like one of the photos of a starving child in Africa, taken just moments before death.
We talked, and gave him our spiritual
point of view, just as if we were indeed talking to Lord Krishna. His response was that we appeared very comfortable with death and if Hadani was his daughter, he would suggest that we start the Hospice Program and
close Hadani’s earthly life with comfort and dignity. In the few days that followed, our love fell into a very deep space. We were saying goodbye to each other in the most profound way. I can not attempt to write
about it. I can't even conjure up the experience. All I can say is that for me, it was the deepest experience of love I have ever felt. It was total and completely fulfilling. Looking back, all I can say is that I
sure loved being in love and for just the sake of love and not expecting “anything” from the object of my love… not even the object.
Then Krishna returned with beautiful smile on his face and said, “We can
not find a bad cell in your water and now I would say to my daughter, “Abandon the Hospice Program and fight to live and together we will find out the nature of your disease and treat it!” And so we did. After four
weeks of probing and poking into Hadani’s body, the Medford team had exhausted there potential for a diagnosis and they flew us up to OHSU, The Oregon Health and Science University in Portland Oregon, for further
diagnosis. Three and a half weeks later they came to the conclusion that Hadani had a rare form of Lupus and started treatment.
I was very fortunate to be with Hadani 24/7 except for one night when Hadani
was in intensive care at OHSU. My son Eric, who happened to live in Portland, took me in that night and from then on, he would bring me a stir-fry of vegetables every morning on his way to work. Our room at OHSU was
fantastic. The Hospital was built on a wooded hill five hundred feet above the city and our room was on the 7th floor facing East. The view at sunrise was immense. A large river with arching bridges flowed through
the middle of the city and the morning rays of the sun would turn the waters into molten silver. The sky was always filled with many levels of wide horizontal clouds, fog or overcast and when the clouds lifted a
very impressive Mount Hood rose above the horizon to eleven thousand feet.
Our stay in the Hospitals passed like a dream. It was like being in Heaven. Everyone appear as a saint or angel. When we left,
Hadani was sent to a rehabilitation clinic in Medford, and in comparison to the hospitals it felt like we arrived in Hell. I was not able to stay with her that night. Her roommate hated every one and was very
deranged. The place was dirty and depressing. The compassionate Divine then gave Hadani a fever and she was rushed back into the hospital early the next morning for another week stay. Then, with the attention from
physical therapists, we qualified to come straight home. Her recovery has been very fast. She now does all the cooking, takes walks, exercises and is gaining weight. Soon her doctor is going to wean her from the
drug called Prednisone (a form of Cortisone) and introduce her to a much milder maintenance drug.
The Bear (Hada) and the Wolf (Hadani) are back.
Hadani’s transformation, which started in Portugal
(which is another story), is not yet finished, and so it goes… What’s the next surprise?
I can not help thinking how difficult and confusing it must and will be for the medical community with all of the
people starting to transform the caterpillar into a butterfly. For so long the doctors have been trying to contain the caterpillar in health and longevity
and now their patient’s are caressing a new form, a new existence. Will we soon… all be gnawing our way out of this three dimensional trap?
I hope so!